GUEST POST BY GUY NASH
What matters?
Life is a mystery to most of us but perhaps West Ham’s most famous manager Ron Greenwood summed it up best by saying that:
Life is all about being given chances (and not taking them).
Some years later the player who scored the first ever hat trick in the Premier League uttered:
When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.
Well things have been rather quiet ever since in Eric’s philosophical steakhouse and perhaps that is a good thing as many of us are still pondering these words from 1995. The most profound reply to questions about life, the universe and everything was perhaps by Tiger Woods when he replied:
It is what it is.
It turns out that you can use this as the answer to almost any inquiry. Do try it as it can really annoy other people!
There are important things in all our lives that quite rightly occupy our daily thoughts, but our lives would so be much easier if we did not worry about matters beyond our control or things that don’t really matter. Why do we get so emotive about things that don’t matter? WHTID like any football website surely falls into the latter category but fans want to believe that such things do matter. Why? Well because that’s entertainment; in the same way when we watch a film we want to believe the fiction, as it makes it more fun.
Words; publish or perish
Next time when we are in doubt whether to publish something on WHTID the traditional advice would be “would you be happy for your grandmother to hear you say that?” The site’s average age of perhaps 45 means most of our grandmothers are dead (and perhaps there would be no online comment at all if we had such high standards) so we should rephrase this as “would you say those words out loud to that West Ham fan?” If not, they should perish with our other less successful thoughts of the day.
If contributions to WHTID were purely footballs facts it would surely be a sterile uninteresting (very small) site. Sometimes we just have to type what is buzzing round in our heads to give it air and bounce the idea off a like-minded fan. In the same way that many would never let the truth get in the way of a good story, sometimes a line is too funny to not type, even if you think it may possibly upset someone. Oftentimes whilst you carefully consider if your words may distress someone, they appear by the hand of another, who typed it less subtly than you were going to!
Whether this site should sub-divide topics will sub-divide opinion and is a topic for another day. Some subject matters will tend to bring out strong opinions but surely they should not be avoided for that reason alone? How do you make some challenging subjects more palatable? Well preceding it with “In my humble opinion” will not exonerate you. Neither will firstly mentioning something balanced ….. then adding something contentious after the word “but”. The US Army saying of “Everything before the BUTT is BULL CRAP” is apt here.
Are we all offenders?
In recent years some people like to be labelled as victims, almost craving offence, which others find difficult to understand as they try their best to avoid being offended. To reduce the chance of being upset online the most effective method is to block the site from your browser but ….. we are drawn back to it like a drug. Why? We are perhaps interested in other peoples’ reactions to our words; also we want to be loved in life so need to feel people agree with us. Some want validation, attention or praise. But what happens when some others do not agree with us? Well it depends both on your and their personality types to how it plays out ….. sometimes adding ambiguous comments to the wrong, perhaps tipsy, person at the wrong time ….. and you can predict a riot.
We are all able to cause offence inadvertently but what of those who aim to do this for the reaction it causes? Those even more crafty manage to create arguments by proxy, by lighting the blue touch paper and standing well back to watch the fireworks. For these two groups it is not social media anymore, it is anti-social. You can tell these people apart as they have little interest in the thoughtful or helpful comments of others.
Although there is a mixture of personality types in many of us, you may recognise yourself (and others on this site) as one of the following:
4 PERSONALITY TYPES
- THE STRONG LEADER likes to see results, focussing on the result of a game as the bottom line. They are driven, communicating with brevity and urgency. Their propensity for “winning” comes through strong due to their competitive type “A” nature. They are direct people, even if they’re not your boss/captain, they may think they are. I f taken to an extreme some may border on sociopathic behaviours. Potential Weaknesses: their comments can be seen as too controlling and aggressive whilst being insensitive to the needs of others. They often value the job over the people who do the job. They type rashly, coming across as critical and unsupportive of others’ comments which they do not consider closely. They want to solve any dilemmas quickly and bluntly and then move on. They often lack teamwork which tends to frustrate others. You’ll find them frequently clashing online, especially with …..
- THE SOCIAL MATEY person who likes to “connect” with others. Of the four types of people they are the best communicators but sometimes do this to excess. They can relate to all other types much easier and often show concern for others. They like hobbies that involve a high degree of social interaction. They do not like to be alone, preferring to work in teams often in careers such as sales, entertainment, education and healthcare. Potential Weaknesses: seen as weak or non-assertive and avoid conflicts online typically holding (un-typed) things inside. They tend to put the needs of others ahead of their own and are overly sensitive to criticism. They may be the target of online bullying by more dominant characters. They make popular decisions sometimes more than the correct ones. They can be easily influenced and try to be accommodating, not uncommonly typing “spot on” to be seen to agree with others.
- THE FREE SPIRIT needs personal freedom and adventure. They crave excitement in the home, work and football. They do not like to be tied down by conventions required by grammar, regulation or rules. Their philosophy tends to be “it’s all goo”" and “you do your thing and I’ll do mine.” They do not like to be told “you can’t.” They bring a sense of flair or invention to problems. They are drawn to substances, websites and lifestyles that provide adventure, excitement and autonomy. They cannot be easily tied down to mundane jobs so you’ll often see them working as stockbrokers, actors, musicians and entrepreneurs. Potential Weaknesses: lacking discipline to follow through their disorganised plans. They grow bored easily and want to change things on a whim. Their constant need for “the next challenge” can cause conflict and problems as they start many jobs but finish few. They often do not plan ahead well and can abuse substances when not thinking of tomorrow. They ignore details and can be sloppy but do not overtly worry about this. They’ll resist and rebel against authority and orders.
- THE WORKER ANT likes structure and getting the job done well. They are extremely hard working, reliable and take a no-nonsense approach to life. They enjoy being organised and relish statistics. They structure their day to accomplish everything on their agenda; on their phone’s diary or daily lists they tend to write to themselves. Their major strengths are commitment to their work, being precise, punctual and seeing that others do the same to get the job done right. Potential Weaknesses: difficulty dealing with change. Their need for structure makes them too rigid and inflexible. They like duties but have trouble letting go and having fun. They can be too demanding of themselves and others. They are deliberate and thorough but need much direction and prodding to move things along swiftly.
So next time we read or write a post, maybe consider who in the conversation are the above personality types. Then both the likely strengths and weaknesses of the other members may be clearer but more importantly our own too. The bottom line would be to ask yourself why you primarily log on to WHTID [interest in the football/team – positive interactions with other fans – creating reactions from others/self-promotion – other]
(Disclaimer: the above is fictional and not specifically about anyone living, dead, zombie or even Spurs fans)