“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops – at all – (Emily Dickinson)
I watched the game with my son and grandson, so we could share the expected miserable experience. It started much like the previous two games, with Antonio floating around on his own. The poor chap has many qualities but a striker he isn’t. And we all shouted ‘Should have gone to Specsavers, when he failed to take advantage of a good opportunity.
Chelsea were passing the ball around like they owned it and the result looked inevitable. Then, came the Soucek disallowed goal with the subsequent farce of VAR, which is slowly throttling football as a spectator sport. As we watched the pictures, a question struck me. Soucek’s right foot was onside, but his left foot was offside, so was he onside or offside? This troubled me all night and led to disturbing nightmares.
Anyway, Antonio was lying down having a rest and I suppose one could say that the goalkeeper, Arrizabalagabalaga, was very slightly disturbed by the fact Antonio was having a kip. However, it turned out Jonathan Moss was the video referee, so the result of the VAR, after three and and a half minutes was a forgone conclusion, as, even as he was 3000 miles away, he wanted to make an impact on the game.
So, off we went again and almost immediately Chelsea were awarded a penalty and deftly stuck it in the back of the neck. By this time, my son, who is normally a calm and tranquil person had become a raving lunatic, destroying half his living room, which he will now have to redecorate.
However, justice took its part in the proceedings and Soucek, who is seven feet six inches tall or 3500m in the metric system he is used to, nodded the ball into the net. We all agreed that set pieces were the only way we were going to score goals.
We saw a shot of Mark Noble, who had rightly taken his place as a spectator, which he normally is on the field of play. He and Trevor Brooking were wearing West Ham face masks, even though there was nobody else within two hundred yards of them.
We agreed David Moyes has no feel for when he should make substitutes and now, having five substitutes, he brain has become a little scrambled. His tactics seem to be to find a failed system and stick by it.
Anyway, after 50 minutes, when everybody was looking forward to the next water break, somehow we managed to getting a flowing movement going. Antonia went for another sleep in the penalty area,but he decided to get up and took a wonderful pass from Bowen and this time slotted it in the net. He must have put his contacts in.
Of course, we celebrated, but kept half an eye on the TV, in case VAR decided the goalkeeper had been distracted by a bee.
Onwards and downwards. We gave away a free kick in the perfect position and Will Iam or Willian, as he prefers to be called, slotted the ball in off the post. Not only was this whole episode extremely upsetting, but the commentator, who would have needed treatment if my son had got to him, suggested it was Fabulanski’s fault and he should have been standing next to the post.
Oh well, one point would have to do and we would have to rely on beating the other dross at the bottom of the table. Then, a remarkable miracle happened. Yarmalenko, who has come in for some stick from us fans, came on and transformed the game. Finally, we took on the guise of an attacking side and the subsequent goal will live forever in the annuals of West Ham history.
I do apologise to you.Lockdown has definitely sent me crazy. But, the hope in my heart has been revived.
By the way, I noticed we have new shirt sponsors. The last shirt sponsor, Bassett & Gold have gone bust owing 1800 customers £36 million pounds. Amongst other things, their misleading advertising is being investigated. Our new shirt sponsors, Scope Markets are reguated by the financial authorities in Belize. Make your own mind up.