Cock-ups is an area where Britain can boast it leads the world. Many people think the term has a vulgar origin, because of the adjunct of the word cock and up, but, in fact, its origin is quite innocent. In Reginald Perrin, his brother-in-law was fond of the phrase, such as ,’There’s been a bit of a cock-up on the catering front.’
Examples of British cock-ups are the Charge of the Light Brigade, Sinclair C5, probably the whole of World War 1 Beagle 2 where we landed a probe on Mars which failed to communicate anything, Gordon Brown’s sale of gold and the NHS computer system.
Then, of course,nearer home, there is London Stadium/West Ham combo, where presently the Government (us) is losing £25 million a year and the club £25 million a year.
The West Ham cock up began many years ago when the club failed to take advantage of the development of docklands, which is surprising, since Len Cearns was a builder.His son, Martin, was responsible for the notorious Hammers Bond, more of a scam then a debenture. The Cearns family were devoid of creativity and ambition , even though West Ham has probably the greatest catchment area of supporters in the country ,as Cockneys spread their wings into Essex and other parts.
Move on to 2006, when the club were taken over by Björgólfur Guðmundsson for £75 million. At the beginning of 2008 his wealth was estimated at over £1.1 billion by Forbes magazine, but by the end of 2008 at £0. In 2009, he was declared bankrupt, owing £500 million.
Interestingly, he remarked ,on taking over the club, that he would be looking at a possible move to the Olympic Stadium. So, this consideration did not start with GSB. Unfortunately, GSB got sucked in and started making promises which look laughable now. They would have made the calculation that West Ham in the Olympic Stadium would be worth far more that it was at the Boleyn.
That’s where I don’t understand the protests against GSB. Where do the protesters think this will lead to? GSB got sucked into the situation, which is the essential element of a cock-up. They did not create it.
Some people have criticised Gold and Sullivan for being a couple of spivs. A spiv is someone who dresses smartly and earns a living by disreputable means.
That, of course, doesn’t apply to Sullivan and Gold, who have accumulated their wealth by the reputable means of pornography and the sale of dildos and certainly are not sharply dressed, if Sullivan’s Russian hat is anything to go by.
Whether they go the way of our friend, Björgólfur , is yet to be seen , but their entry in the Sunday Times rich list is based on their valuation of West Ham at £600 million. In addition, you just need a glance at the Ann Summers accounts to see that it is in deep doodoo. Add to that what has been happening to retail property values and you may have the ingredients for a perfect storm.
It is strange they didn’t take advantage of the property at the Boleyn Ground which was sold to Galliard Phoenix for £38, of which £15 million went as a contribution to the London Stadium and then on by them for £60 million. A tidy profit for sitting on your arse for two years.
The fans need to admit they have done well recently in the purchase of Bowden and Soucek, after the disastrous reign of Pellegrini and Husillios, who definitely took the club for a ride financially, but not up the Premier League.
The second strand of the cockup was the construction of the London Stadium. Now we know that anything the Government gets involved in normally end up in a giant cock-up. Having seen myself what happened to the Olympic site in Athens, after the games there, one could say that the London Olympics has brought regeneration to the local area. Even now, there is a considerable amount of development.
It would have been appropriate if the London Stadium, which was described at the time as a giant blancmange, would have been built in the form of a white elephant. It was obvious to anyone with half a brain, that its eventual use would be as a football stadium. The Government determined its use was to be as an athletics stadium. It was built, at a time of austerity, on a limited budget and there were retractable this and dismountable that, which I have never really understood.
In 2008, Lord Coe made a speech to the Conservative Party Conference in which he said that the building of Wembley Stadium was a giant cock-up from start to finish and the mistakes would not be repeated in the construction of the Olympic Stadium. Ha! Ha!
So, we have ended with a concrete monstrosity. Now, the logical thing to do, if you are losing £25 million a year, is to cut your losses and demolish the whole thing and leave the land idle. Of course, that is not going to happen. Instead, the owners of the stadium and GSB have engaged in a ritual dance, with neither of them able to work out which one is the praying mantis.
One thing is clear. GSB have been sold a pig in a poke and have given up home advantage. The only salvation will be if one of the world’s dictators comes along, acquires the stadium for a peppercorn and builds a new stadium and an athletics’ stadium in the Midlands.It would only cost £1 billion and they would only have to turn on the oil taps for a couple of days extra.