Looney Tunes ended with the sign off ’That’s all , folks.’. And certainly, the Brighton game was completely looney. Welcome to the looney bin Soucek and Bowen. If anybody thinks they will make a difference, you must believe Alice in Wonderland is non fiction.
I have spent my last week watching three disasters. West Brom 2nd eleven – disgraceful Liverpool- inevitable and Brighton – a farce in two acts.
And yes, I do blame Moyes. He should have brought on Balbuena at 3-1, gone to a back three and shut up shop, especially as he knew some players weren’t fressh, having played Liverpool a few days previously. Instead, we have the same tactics as Pellegrini, as well as the same poor substitution decisions
Just when we had found a potentially great player in Ngakia, he was not even on the bench. And just when Fornals had appeared to be coming good, he was dropped to become a pointless 85 minute substitute.
We are just like the ArcelorMittal Orbit, a name which doesn’t exactly trip off the tongue. I always regarded it as an absolute monstrosity, but probably appropriate as an adjunct to the London Stadium, itself a concrete bowl.
It is described as a looping structure and has been evoked (by blind people) as a byword for design innovation and playful invention. Now, I regard it as a work of genius. 60% of the structure is made from recycled materials such as washing machines and used cars.
This is entirely appropriate as it describes exactly the West Ham team, with its crocks, easily injured , loanees and out of contract. Sir Anish Kapoor is, therefore, a great visionary.
Not only that, its spiral structure and twists and turns describes perfectly the agony of being a West Ham fan. It would be appropriate to rename the structure as ‘The David Sullivan Tower’.
It would take 954 cans stacked end to end to match the height of the structure. If you used a soft drink, that would cost you about £3000 based on the prices charged at the stalls outside the stadium.
Which brings me onto another subject. I try to avoid the food at the stadium. We all know it is rubbish and a bit of a rip off. But what I really object to is being charged £7.50 for an hamburger (is it an hamburger or a hamburger?) and then not getting any onions. Come on. Fairs, fair. I took a bite and realised what was going on. I stood there and weighed up whether it was worth complaining. I even walked up to another stall, which displayed a sign ‘gourmet burgers’ and found out the gourmet bit meant you got onions with your burger.
You’ve got to weigh up in life whether complaining is worth the aggravation. We, British, are terrible at it. The French are really good at it and I smelt the teargas on a recent trip to Paris, where the police gave a lesson in what happens when you complain (there was a march about pension reform).
You would have heard about the Gilets Jaunes, the yellow jackets. This would be a good way to protest at West Ham. We should all wear fluorescent claret and blue high-vis jackets with ‘I’ve had enough’, printed on the back.
And how about an anthem? Well, why not The Who’s ‘I’ve had enough’?
Don’t cry because you hunt them
Hurt them first they’ll love you
There’s a millionaire above you
And you’re under his suspicion.
I’ve had enough of dancehalls
I’ve had enough of pills
I’ve had enough of streetfights
I’ve seen my share of kills
I’m finished with the fashions
And acting like I’m tough
I’m bored with hate and passion
I’ve had enough of trying to love.