Nigel Kahn’s Column

Life is bigger
It’s bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I’ve said too much
I set it up

Its been a while since last I wrote. There are various reasons for that of which some are personal and some I struggle to admit. Partly it’s that when the club gets itself into a rut like it has, trying to write something different from the rest can be a struggle for me. I sit sometimes on the sidelines reading the social media outpourings and at times I wonder how these West Ham fans would have coped years ago.

For me, John Lyall is the greatest ever manager we have had and yet he is the only manager to relegate the club twice and when considering our last five relegations since his first in 1978, he took the longest time in getting the club promoted back to the top flight. Three season from 1978-1981.

How would social media and those who like me, who set themselves up as commentators on the club, have treated him? It’s quite possible if he survived not being sacked in 78, he would have been in 79 after his failure to achieve an instant return.

I very much doubt Sullivan would have allowed him the chance to win the cup in 1980 as he would have succumbed to fans questioning his tactics, and possibly his personality just as many pile into our current manager after this current sticky spell.

That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

I’ve just watched a video by Gonzo on Hammers Chat. He was posed a question: Have Gold Sullivan & Brady destroyed West Ham?

I like Kris. In fact, he’s the only vlogger I watch now. I’ve shared & enjoyed his company many a time and always look forward to meeting him, yet watching this video I was surprised to hear him admit he believed in the move, that he was willing to trade the authenticity of West Ham at Upton Park for the move to get success.

He then waxes lyrical how he feels the three amigos have, as the question says, destroyed West Ham as was.

I found it tough watching though, mainly because I spent so long trying to fight the move. When I hear people admit they were taken in by the owners it highlights the failure of what I, and those others that campaigned as best we could, achieved.

When I hear fans admit they once bought into the dream only to realise it was false, there is no satisfaction of us being right, it actually just guts me more and I suspect those that I stood alongside feel the same.

Every whisper
Of every waking hour, I’m
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool
Oh no I’ve said too much
I set it up

The move has divided the fanbase like Brexit has divided the country. People on either side have no respect anymore for the other’s point of view. So many talk about uniting the fanbase. WHUISA was supposed to be an attempt to do that, yet that descended into a farce to the point where even though most of the committee were anti Board, I felt disenfranchised from those I was supposed to agree with. Three times elected onto the committee, yet three times I walked away, resigning, as my frustration at the ineptitude of some others on the committee left me nowhere to turn.

I look to Hammers United now, but they fail like many at WHUISA to grasp that if you want to set yourselves up as fan representatives, you have to deal with the people you despise the most. The owners. They claim the club refuses to engage but then fall into the trap the club set. They liaise with the club SLO by email, so the club can say they engage with them.

HU want to sit down with them, but on their terms. They fail to see it’s the club that sets the rules of engagement. HU now have complained to the FA, Premier League and even UEFA, trying to point a gun at the clubs head and say, talk to us.

The club will point out they have contact via the supporter liaison officer so they do talk to them. If they want to come in and meet, they have a forum set up, they just need to apply. How now will the club and HU ever have meaningful discussions after this stunt?

Who loses? Not the club, but the fans. HU would achieve far more from the inside, putting over members concerns, than they ever will emailing the S.L.O and complaining to the institutions that WHU are members of. They will never sanction WHU they will only side with them.

I attended the recent ticketing meeting, the outcome of which has led to the club announcing some changes. Away tickets that can’t be used will be able to be returned to the club, though refund will only happen if the ticket is then sold.

The ballot will not be a blanket 10% but be staggered, below 3,000 allocations it drops to 7%, then below 2,000, it goes to 5%. No ballot below 1500 allocation. I went into that meeting, I claimed to represent no one but myself, and yet the staggered ballot was put forward by me.

Whether you agree with it or not, just by being in the meeting, I’ve achieved more than HU have or WHUISA actually. Imagine what they could achieve for fans if they stopped acting like prima donnas and held their noses and went to the club.

Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I’ve said too much

West Ham to me feels like an addiction. It is my drug of choice. They say that addicts won’t start to kick the habit until they hit rock bottom, then they have to acknowledge that problem. I’m not sure I’m at that point yet. I didn’t attend the Sheffield United game. I now have work on Saturdays with my family. I could have made the game but decided not to and just five minutes into the game I was regretting not being there. Watching at home just didn’t feel right.

I had hoped I wouldn’t have missed it, but alas I’m still under this curse.

I do feel though, I am LOSING MY RELIGION.

As outlined above, the club is no longer resembling anything I thought the club ever stood for, wiped away on a gamble that while that in my belief will never pay off for the fans. The one thing that has grown far bigger than anything else to do with West Ham since we moved, is the share price. The true reason for this debacle.

I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
But that was just a dream
That was just a dream
just a dream, just a dream
dream