West Ham Till I Die
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Book Review

West Ham 2, Newcastle 3. Far Worse Than Score Suggests.

Against my better judgment, I have found something that David Gold and I agree on.

Daylight Savings Time.

Actually, I don’t have as strong an opinion on it as our…ahem…esteemed co-owner. I was just very annoyed this morning because I was not aware Boris and friends changed the clocks last week. Which meant kickoff here was 11am, not 10am. Which meant I didn’t have to rush to the garbage dump first thing to unload debris from the addition we are putting on the house. Which meant I didn’t have to kick my son out of the basement and off the phone with his mate while they battled on some video game. For all of Newcastle’s problems in recent times, including no matches so far this season with more than one goal, we have only managed to win one of our last 25 matches against them. Today was no better.

Much has been said, all negative, about West Ham’s lack of pace. That issue was evident in the opening minutes of the match. There wasn’t a particular moment that put a spotlight on that. But West Ham looked slow and measured, as if they were waiting for the opposition to allow them to do what they imagined they could do if given the time and space. Newcastle, on the other hand, looked adventurous and probing. Considering their attacking problems so far this season, it wasn’t a hopeful atmosphere.

West Ham picked up the pace a little and won a few corners for their efforts. Both of them were decent deliveries by Snodgrass, and both ended with fairly weak efforts from Balbuena. Minutes later, Almiron won a free kick after Diop breathed on him just outside the West Ham penalty area. Shelvey sent the free kick to the far post where Joelinton met it with his head. He sent it back across the box and Clark said thank you very much as he headed it past Roberto.

West Ham 0
Newcastle 1

The match turned shambolic in the 22nd minute, and all the fears when Fabianski went down came to fruition. Newcastle won another corner and took it short. The ball was lobbed into the area and Roberto came out to….actually I have no idea what he came out to do. He did nothing but leave the entire goal wide open for Fernandez, and for the first time this season Newcastle had a second goal in a game.

West Ham 0
Newcastle 2

It should have been 0-3 a minute later when Saint-Maximin was sent in alone on goal but he hit Roberto’s foot when the whole goal was beckoning. The game should have been effectively over. But based on the pathetic play from the home side it seemed to be anyway.

Newcastle had yet another must score opportunity when a ball played over the top created a foot race between Saint-Maximin and Zabaleta. Despite being yards behind, the Frenchman easily beat the Argentine to the ball but he couldn’t finish the job. The ball bounced to Almiron in the box, but Roberto ran out and blocked the ball with his chest. Seconds later Shelvey hit the bar with a long effort. Defensively it was among the worst performances I’d seen in ages. The booing could be heard from London to Houston. And everywhere in between.

West Ham had their first effort on goal in the 41st minute when Haller was able to put a scissor kick on goal after a cross from Anderson. I wondered what Haller might be thinking at that moment about his decision over the summer.

West Ham won a corner in the final moments of the opening half and came close to getting a goal back when the Snodgrass-Balbuena combination tried again, only this time Balbuena put his effort on target. Dubravka got his right hand on it and palmed it over the bar. Then it was Newcastle on the attack, and once again it was Saint-Maximin. His low shot was palmed around the post by Roberto.

Halftime
West Ham 0
Newcastle 2 (should have been 5)

As the second half began, I was on the phone with my best mate Jon. We talked a little bit about the disaster we had watched unfold. But mostly we talked kids, work, things like that. When Shelvey made it 0-3, I turned it off. The recent rain storms we have had knocked so many leaves down I saw no reason to wait another minute to grab the rake. Balbuena scored as I posted this, and then Snodgrass in added time. But so what? If a miracle happened, OK. I would have missed it. But I knew it wouldn’t. So for the first time in my seven years doing this, I wrote my report before the match was over.

No pictures, either. I couldn’t take it any more, and I certainly didn’t want to relive anything by finding images of the slaughter.

Final Score
West Ham 2
Newcastle 3

I don’t know where we go from here.

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