Match Report

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all builders working on a bridge. The Englishman opens his lunch-box and says, “If I get one more tuna sandwich, I’m going to jump off this bridge.” The Scotsman opens his lunch box and says, “If I get one more ham sandwich, I’m going to jump .” The Irishman then says, “If I get one more egg sandwich, I’m going to jump .” The next day, all three get the same lunch, all three jump off the bridge, and all three die. At their funeral, the Englishman’s wife wails, “If only I’d known he didn’t like tuna!” The Scotsman’s wife cries, “If only I’d known he didn’t like ham!” The Irishman’s wife says, “I don’t understand it. He made his own sandwiches.”

I am reminded of this joke because of the stupidity surrounding the way Anderson and Snodgrass take free kicks. OK, have a go once to see is making a small pass and a return works in confusing the opposition. But to try it time and time again, with the only result being that they confuse themselves or pass straight to the nearest opposing player is beyond credibility.

Another joke is that we continue to ship goals, but persist with the same defensive formation i.e two at the back. This continually leads to gaps, into which opposing players can run. Just replay the last Leicester goal as this illustrates the point. We need three at the back to give us a line of steel. All Pellegrini can say about is that we give away too many goals, without seemingly doing a thing about it.

And up front, Arnautovic, who is not a natural striker, is left to fend for himself. Antonio was hugging the right wing and Anderson the left and here was a space as wide as the Sahara desert behind Arnautovic. How many times do we see strikers expected to perform miracles when they are left to roam all by themselves upfront.

It helps when one is a West Ham fan to be a philosopher and ask the question,’What is the meaning of existence?’ ‘Why don’t I sit down and find the club with the richest owners and support that club, instead of supporting a club who think the way to solve their problems is to change carpet at a cost of £250,000?’’Why do I persist in the absurd and think that West Ham can become a top club?’ Albert Camus called it absurdism.

Camus thought that suicide could be the only rational response to the absurdity of life. That’s why I told the joke in the first paragraph. We need to seek meaning and that is why we support our team and stick with it throughout our life. We are a band of brothers travelling throughout the absurdity of life together and we live in hope of a better future. Players come and go, owners come and go, managers come and go, but the heart of the club is its fans.

We, the fans, are like Sisyphus, condemned for all eternity to push a boulder up a mountain only to have it roll to the bottom again and again. But he willingly pushes the boulder up the mountain every time it rolls down.