Match Report

I like to make my own custard. The secret is when you pour in the milk, take the custard off the heat, otherwise you will get a curdled mess. And keep whisking because you need to get just the right consistency.

So, football is the same. You get all your ingredients, a Brazilian trickster, a Mexican cheat, a Polish wall, an Argentinian playmaker, et al, stir them all together and hope you get consistency. Unfortunately, for the chef, he can’t seem to make progress. And for those tasting the custard, the lumps are still there.

Now, Cardiff is 3 degrees of longitude west of London. So, in real time that’s a time difference of 12 minutes, as one degree of longitude is 4 minutes in time. So, the only conclusion I can come to is that the West Ham side were suffering from jet lag for the first twenty minutes of the game.

I did hear the West Ham coach only arrived an hour before the game. Even if that is not true, there is something wrong with the preparation. Perhaps, they should travel the day before, so they can adjust to the climate.

I think we can say there is something amiss with Arnautovic. It’s actually painful to watch. He should have started, as the combination of him and Lanzini could be lethal. My belief is that the club have agreed he can leave in the next transfer window and have already agreed a fee with the Chinese club for £35 million. This would be a bargain as he is now probably worth about £10 million and probably is a real downer in the dressing room.

I must say, I’m getting bored. The only home game I’ve missed this year was against Fulham. I missed the fact the game was on a Friday night and agreed to a dinner date. Strangely, I realised I wasn’t that bothered. The games now are at such varying times. Soon, we’ll have midnight games to please fans in Bora Bora.

I apologise for my little jibe against Hernandez. But, for a player who prays on the centre line before a game, he has got a strange set of morals. Wasn’t the eleventh commandment ‘I shall not cheat’?There really should be a greater sanction against such players. A fine would be in order.

Looking to next season, we have got some great players as a base – Diop, Balbuena, Rice, Fabianski, Lanzini and Anderson. But we’ll have to spend another £100 million, or £50 million net after selling players. We certainly haven’t got the depth to compete for the Europa cup.We couldn’t even beat AFC Wimbledon with a second string.