Match Report

John Macaria jumped from his seventh floor apartment when Manchester United lost to Newcastle. Suleiman Omondi hanged himself after an Arsenal defeat.

Luckily I don’t live in an apartment and I haven’t got any rope.

I remember when we lost 1-5 to Huddersfield Town from Division 2 in 1960 in a third round FA Cup replay. Upton Park was covered in snow. Whilst the West Ham players slipped and struggled in the snow, the Huddersfield players wore rubber soled boots. It was the most brilliant coaching decision I have ever witnessed.

Oh, and Huddersfield had a brilliant young player called Denis Law who joined Manchester City two weeks later for a record breaking fee of £55,000.

The most enlightening aspect of the game was listening to Vinnie Jones before the match. He was brilliant. I loved his description of what Arnautovic has done to the club and what the other players should do to Arnautovic. And what happens (or doesn’t happen) in the dressing room. If only Vinnie Jones could go into our dressing room and kick the players in their backsides and rip up their headsets.

How can a side which beat Arsenal and had a clean sheet two weeks ago stoop so low? One answer is that you cannot disrespect the FA Cup. I would describe the side we put out as a team of substitutes. It was noticeable how Pellegrini and his assistant, Ruben Cosillas sat holding their heads in their hands and so they should.

The game cruelly exposed players whose time is up at West Ham – Obiang, Ogbonna, Masuaku and Carroll. Adrian looked rusty and Diangana’s time has not yet come. Noble was playing so deep, I thought he would go and sit with the West Ham fans. We need to employ a former striker to teach Antonio how to shoot straight Hey, didn’t we used to have Teddy Sherringham?. Bring him back.

OK, are there any positives to take from this humiliation? It demonstrated how Rice is the glue that binds the team together. And we rely on the flashes of brilliance from Anderson, so much so that when he plays badly, we always seem to lose. It was obvious that everything should have been played through Anderson and too often it wasn’t.

We, West Ham fans , are a humorous lot. We have to be because we know humiliation is just around the corner. But , perhaps, it’s our expectations that are the real cause of our disappointments.

I’m going to be humming Bridge Over Troubled Water all day:

When you’re weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes, I’ll dry them all
I’m on your side, oh, when times get rough
And friends just can’t be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down