You know who would have made good West Ham supporters? The Mayans. Think about it. The Mayan calendar predicted, or at least some readers of it predicted, the end of the world in 2012 when a “Great Cycle” of its Long Count component came to a conclusion. While the world didn’t end in 2012, West Ham became the clear choice to take over the Olympic Stadium. That deal was consummated on March 22nd, my friggin birthday, 2013. So a group of people lived their lives with the end of the world marked on their ancient IPhone Reminders list.
Football wise, I can relate.
I don’t know about all of you, but I found it hard to relax and focus on what I was watching. From the opening kick, I looked for distractions. Things to do with only one eye on the television. And at least for the opening thirteen minutes that strategy worked fine. Manchester City had most of the ball, we ran around a lot, and not much happened. Kyle Walker sent a low pass across the face of goal in the ninth minute that could easily have been an opener for the visitors, but rolled away to safety. City won a corner in the 12th minute that Kouyate headed away. The least he could do considering he gave the ball away near midfield moments earlier.
I wasn’t even looking up when I heard the announcers call the opening goal by Sane. His long shot from 25 yards out deflected off the aging head of Evra and rolled behind Adrian.
West Ham 0
Manchester City 1
It was nice to see West Ham try to fight back moments after the Sane goal. Arnautovic and Lanzini worked the ball on the right side and resulted in a decent ball towards goal that Ederson knocked away before Cresswell could get a touch. Seconds later The Hammers won a free kick from 35 yards out that City dealt with. I immediately wondered if the only hope we had was long balls to a big target in the box. I wonder who that could be?
Manchester City doubled their inevitable lead in the 27th minute when Adrian bravely came out to intercept a through ball before Sterling could get to it. The ball bounced out wide, Adrian scrambled back to his goal, and Ogbonna was able to block the initial shot at a vacant goal. But the ball ended up with deBruyne, who sent a cross from the byline that Adrian got a hand to. But he pushed the ball right at Rice and Zabaleta and bounced off the latter before settling in the back of the net. The only question at that point seemed to be how ugly the day would get.
West Ham 0
Manchester City 2
It could have been three, and maybe it should have been, when Rice tried an ill advised back pass to Adrian that barely travelled ten feet. Thankfully, I guess, Adrian won the battle with Sane to gather the ball.
West Ham were denied a goal in the 39th minute when Ederson mishandled the ball at the top of the box, and Arnautovic won it from him and put it in. The linesman called a foul and the goal was disallowed. It shouldn’t have been. Moments later Fernandes was fouled at the edge of the Manchester City penalty for what should have been a spot kick. But hey. It’s West Ham. And Manchester City. And Swarbrick.
Please.
The football gods showed some mercy to the Claret and Blue when Cresswell stepped up to take the conciliatory free kick from outside the box. Remember a few years ago when he curled one in against Newcastle at Upton Park? I wrote then that it was of such quality that he should take more. Then that French guy came and that thought went away. Well, today was just as good. Cresswell curled it over the wall and behind Ederson.
Halftime
West Ham 1
Manchester City 2
The second half started the way one would expect. West Ham trying long balls over the City midfield to Arnautovic, and City working the ball on the ground inside the West Ham box. Guess which one worked?
Sterling got the ball inside the right side of the box. He waited for someone to make a run, and that someone was Jesus, who came into the box right down the middle. Sterling rolled the ball into his path, Zabaleta kind of tried to block it, and Jesus tucked it away.
West Ham 1
Manchester City 3
Stupid is stupid. It just is. When Sterling went down, Cresswell took both of his legs out. It was a stonewall penalty. But Swarbrick gave a foul to West Ham. So if that’s what he and the linesman thought, it should have been a yellow to Sterling, right? No. It was just stupid, awful officiating.
And then in the 65th minute, just as West Ham were planning a double substitution, City just scored again because they wanted to. Sterling to Fernandinho. I decided to go help my son locate a Lego piece he was searching for.
West Ham 1
Manchester City 4
After an unsuccessful search for the particular Lego in question, a bit of a late breakfast, and the reclamation of some cat toys from under a bookshelf, I returned to the match. The carnage hadn’t gotten any worse, so I guess that’s a small relief.
Final Score
West Ham 1
Manchester City 4
I’ve seen more than my share of truly epic collapses in my sporting life. I once saw my college basketball team, Syracuse, lose a game in the NCAA Tournament when our star player called a timeout with seconds left and Syracuse in the lead. If he had done nothing we would have won. Problem was we had no timeouts left, Arkansas got free throws and the ball on that “technical foul” and won the game in overtime. I lived through The New York Mets blowing a seven game lead in their division with seventeen games left in the season. It was awe inspiring in its ineptitude. So West Ham going down this season would not surprise me one bit. Yes, Huddersfield have a worse run in. Yes, Southampton have to play at Everton before playing Swansea. But having lived through this stuff before, you can almost see the storm ahead.
Run for cover, folks.