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The Blind Hammer Column

A Yellow Coat and a Surreal Night in November

Blind Hammer recalls an unforgettable match against Manchester United.

It was the evening of the 30th November 2010 and I was in a cab on a snowy night on the way to Upton Park. Normally I went by tube but the combination of the bad weather and a bad cold coming on for me persuaded me to splash out on the Taxi. Suddenly Tommy, my sighted guide for the night rang me to tell me that he had heard from his brother that the match had been called off because of the snow. I was extremely dubious as I knew West Ham had an undersoil heated pitch. The Taxi swung me to a lay bye and I started ringing others to check if the news was correct. After about 10 minutes Tommy rang back to say that his brother had been winding him up. Tommy declared he is a Fu**ing nightmare”. On the night I was minded to agree.

We proceeded on our merry way and the Taxi dropped me outside the Duke of Edinburgh where another of Tommy’s friends met me and we walked down to Upton Park tube to meet the now late Tommy. This friend started swearing immediately he saw tommy. He said he looks like a Fu**ing canary.” I asked in puzzled tones; “why?”
Tommy’s friend said “he is wearing a yellow coat.”

Tommy dashed up and we started to hurry down to the ground. I asked “what gives with the yellow coat?”
Tommy explained he was on his way home from work to change when the snow started which caused traffic jams. He then got distracted by his prank brother and finally realised he had no chance of getting home and then to the match in time. He had decided to park up his works van, and as he had no time to collect his coat from home decided to instead put on his work high visibility jacket and hurry on foot to the nearest station.

The donning of the yellow coat caused unexpected consequences for tommy. As we swung into the entrance to the ground tommy had to field all sorts of odd questions from other supporters wanting directions and answers to other unusual queries. It gradually dawned on us that, because of his coat, people assumed Tommy was a West ham Steward.

We entered the ground as usual but in our lateness and hurrying we suddenly found ourselves in a completely unfamiliar part of the ground. Tommy slowed and halted and started to look around. We had obviously inadvertently wandered behind the scenes. Apparently other Stewards assumed we had the right to enter there. Suddenly a highly excited female steward ran up to Tommy and clung to his back with her arms around his neck. This was her unusual way of making acquaintance with what she assumed was a fellow steward. Obviously I have never seen tommy but he has been described as a “babe magnet” to me.

Tommy took all this in his stride though and was able to get directions to where we should go to. We hurried into the stands just as the sounds of Bubbles were fading away.

The match and the night itself is the stuff of West Ham legend. Unfancied West Ham were understrength against Manchester United in this Carling Cup Tie, though perhaps crucially Manchester United played Carrick in central defence because of their own injury problems.

As we climbed into our seats Tommy and his friend sat in seats immediately behind me.

The bouncing surreal frantic nature of the night seemed to carry over onto the pitch for us as to increasing incredulity West Ham in general and Jonathan Spector in particular proceeded to clinically dismantle Manchester United.

Against any sensible prediction our converted full back now midfielder returned to haunt his former club by making Martin Peters like deadly runs into the Penalty Box to grab what must be one of the most unlikely hat tricks ever scored for West Ham. To general amazement West Ham hammered 4 without reply past an increasingly unnerved Manchester United.

As each goal was rammed home our incredulity and joy increased.
In the melee first my cap, then my scarf, and finally my commentary headset were all sent flying in the increasingly joyous ruck around me. Luckily I was able to get people to retrieve all these items.
When Spector got his hat trick goal I let up to find tommy and his friend were both clinging onto my admittedly broad back and 6ft 4inch frame. , whereupon the supporter the row in front of me heard the commotion and decided to join the fun by leaping up to cling on to me from the front. I was standing like a Christmas tree supporting three Hammers.
And people ask why a blind man would want to go to a football match?
COYI
David Griffith

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