The single strangest thing I have ever seen in football was against Stoke when Ricardo Fuller got sent off for slapping his teammate Andy Griffin. To make it even more bizarre, West Ham won the match on a late goal by….still cannot fathom it….Diego Tristan. Considering Pulis was in charge of The Potters back then I’m a little surprised Fuller wasn’t found by the maintenance crew in the changing room sometime late that evening shoved into a shower drain. Ahhh, the good old days. When teams other than us created headlines that made you scratch your head and say “no way”!
Despite the mathematical advantages West Ham enjoyed going into today’s match against a struggling Stoke side, there had to be a lingering fear. We lose, Swansea pull off an upset at Old Trafford, and we are potentially in huge trouble. Then again, Mourinho couldn’t lose such a match, could he? And if the Mancs won, and we got a draw, then it could be done and dusted because of goal differential. My mind was spinning needlessly.
The opening moments were nervous from West Ham, punctuated by some sloppy defending by the one guy you figured was immune to such issues. Ginge. Then in the 9th minute Stoke should have opened the scoring when Berahino took a pass right in front of Adrian, but without an important block by Reid it would have been 1-0 to the home side. I determined that time was best served by making omelet’s for the kids. Swiss and a little ham. Pun not intended.
Quick point about the pitch. Based on the first 20 minutes or so, you wouldn’t have been thought to be too insane if you wondered if it was iced over. Players for both sides were slip sliding away left and right. It didn’t help that West Ham literally couldn’t complete a pass. Hard as I tried, I couldn’t find a thing to write about.
In the 24th minute, Muniesa fouled Kouyate about 25 yards from goal. Already on a yellow, Muniesa may have felt a bit anxious but a free kick was all that was awarded. The delivery from Lanzini was good and headed out for a corner by Johnson. The corner wasn’t as good and Stoke cleared the ball from danger. Moments later Calleri had the chance to right many of the wrongs he’s been accused of when Fernandes found him in the box with a low pass. Yes, the pass was behind him. But a striker with any confidence at all would have known he had the half second needed to control the pass and line up a good shot. Calleri’s effort sailed high and wide.
In the 31st minute it was Reid again to the rescue, this time with Fonte as his sidekick. Allen made a run down the right and tried to pick out Berahino in front of goal. But Reid and Fonte together cleared the ball away before Berahino could even touch it. Moments later, Masuaku sent in a cross from the left that Ayew met with a perfectly timed bicycle kick. Butland made the save, and while it was a good save to be sure the shot was virtually right next to him. So credit was due to Masuaku, Ayew, and Butland in equal parts.
So. Do I mention the great ball into the box by Lanzini for Calleri in the 37th minute? Or do I mention Calleri not even getting a shot on target? Or do I pretend it never happened? Yeah. I like the last option.
Ahhh, youth. Energy, enthusiasm. And impetuousness. In the 42nd minute, Lanzini rolled a pass to Fernandes just inside the Stoke penalty area on the right. The disconnect between the brain and feet were evident when Fernandes put his shot high over the bar. Minutes later Collins sent a beautiful long pass over the Stoke defense for Calleri. The Argentine tried to find Ayew streaking down the middle but Shawcross made an important block. The ball, however, only rolled a few feet away and Calleri decided, for reasons he will only understand, to try a rabona kick when, I don’t know, his left foot would have been more than adequate with a touch and a shot at an open net.
I give up.
Halftime
Stoke 0
West Ham 0
The second half started with a substitution from West Ham. It just wasn’t the one we expected, and it was likely the one we would have wanted the least. Masuaku out (likely due to injury), Cresswell in, Calleri still there. And within seconds Allen put Cresswell under pressure down the right but his shot hit the side netting. Moments later, Kouyate and Ayew created a chance out of nothing when an intercepted pass to Ayew deflected into the path of Kouyate inside the Stoke eighteen yard box. Kouyate tried a low shot towards the far post that just missed. Stoke came right back down when Arnautovic tried to pick out Shaqiri in front of goal but his shot went wide.
Stoke kept up the pressure in the 56th minute when Adrian blocked a Shaqiri shot over the bar for a Stoke corner. The delivery came into the box and bounced around like the ping pong balls in the Champions League draw before being cleared. A minute later West Ham were awarded a free kick after Arnautovic fouled Fernandes. Lanzini lofted the set piece into the box where Fonte met it with a weak header that went wide. If any West Ham player had tried a run to the far post it might have ended up in the back of the net. But what do I know about coaching set pieces?
Ahem.
The pace of the match kept up, and Adrian made two good saves in a matter of minutes. First on a low, swirling shot from Allen. Then the reinstated Spaniard made a diving stop to his right on a shot from Berahino. It was at that moment I made my deal with the almighty for a draw. Would he/she listen?
In the 64th minute, Butland was forced to make two fine saves. First, after Kouyate made a good interception and sent Ayew forward, Butland made a diving save to his left to keep Ayew off the score sheet. Then a bouncing ball in the box found Lanzini in front but Butland got his left foot in front of Lanzini’s header.
Bilic then made the kind of substitution that led me to believe he made a similar deal with his maker, removing Ayew for Noble in what could only be described as a “respect the point” move. Other managers would have been persecuted for such a move. Not that I am judging it on its merit or lack thereof, but it was odd at best. At the same time, Hughes sent in Crouch in what could only be described as a “go for it at home” move. I had a bad feeling about it right away.
For all of Butland’s good saves all game, Adrian made the stop of the day up to that point when a sloppy Collins pass was intercepted by Shaqiri. Almost immediately he sent a looping cross into the box that Arnautovic chested down and volleyed towards Adrian. Perhaps it was at such close quarters that Arnautovic had little angle to work with, but Adrian made the stop and then pushed the ball from danger while falling backwards into the goal.
In the 88th minute, as the ball came off Shaqiri’s left foot towards the waiting totem pole named Crouch, tell me you didn’t see your life flash before your eyes. I did. But thankfully the cross was slightly behind him and his header went lazily over the bar.
In the final seconds of four minutes of added time, Stoke were awarded a free kick when Kouyate was ruled to have fouled Adam. West Ham were able to clear the delivery from danger, and as Stoke tried one last effort down the right Probert blew his whistle
Final Score
Stoke City 0
West Ham 0
Overall, West Ham probably had the better chances to win today. But I made my deal and I’m sticking with it. I’ll respect, even embrace, the point. I have rarely watched Manchester United and pulled for them to win. But we needed them in last years FA Cup Final and we could use them tomorrow. If they win, it’s effectively over even if we lose our final three games.
Never has a -15 goal differential looked so sweet.