Last season, I would be on Twitter one hour and one minute before kickoff to see the starting lineups and subs. This season, not so much. But today was different. I had hope that what seemed so obvious to so many supporters regarding the right back position and the midfield would appear before Bilic like a vision. The Ghost Of Football Clarity, perhaps? Nope. Kouyate at right back, Ayew on the bench. And the home side hadn’t won a match since December. Today was a vision, all right. A vision of what we will live through most weeks if we don’t dramatically improve the squad in the summer.
The first five minutes did nothing to allow me to settle in to my comfortable surroundings at home. The West Ham defense looked out of sorts and sometimes out of position. King and Afobe tried to take advantage of two mistakes by Cresswell, first waiting too long to clear the ball from danger and second being caught out of position on an offside trap. Thankfully for us, the Cherries didn’t threaten either time. But in the 8th minute, the calamity at the back culminated when Feghouli brought down Daniels and Madley immediately pointed at the spot. They deserved to go one up. But in order to do that, you must finish the job. King didn’t do that, sending his shot wide despite sending Randolph the wrong way.
It’s often said that football can be a cruel game. It can also offer salvation to the damned. Indeed it can. Despite Bournemouth missing the penalty, it was still Feghouli that handed them the chance. So when he intercepted a pass from Arter in the Bournemouth area, redemption was at hand. A quick pass to Antonio who spun around and put a low shot past Boruc. Salvation, sort of, complete.
Bournemouth 0
West Ham 1
For a club managed by a former central defender, West Ham played like that position had never even been discussed in training. Reid and Fonte looked so out of sorts that Bournemouth found a lot of success early on sending balls over the top and into the heart of the West Ham danger zone. In the 14th minute, a lob over the top found Afobe between the two Center Backs but as his lob over Randolph headed towards goal the referee spotted that Afobe had used his hands to control the ball. Moments later Bournemouth were on the front foot again when Pugh sent Daniels down the left but his ball across the face of goal was too pacey for King to get on the end of it.
West Ham had a great chance to double their advantage in the 24th minute when Lanzini sent a through ball down the left that Antonio chased down to the left of Boruc. He rolled the ball back to Lanzini, but from a dangerous spot he sent his shot well over the bar.
In the 29th minute, Randolph was forced into a good save but not from the kind of build up play Bournemouth had used to dominate the first half. Instead, Fraser got the ball 30 yards out and looked to have said to himself “F This” and fired. Randolph had to dive to his right to push the ball out for a corner. The set piece found Cook in the box but his header was tipped over the bar. Two minutes later, Bournemouth finally got the goal they richly deserved when King received the ball in the box, spun around Fonte, and slid it past Randolph.
Bournemouth 1
West Ham 1
It’s pretty rare for one side to be awarded two penalties in one game, let alone one half. So what are the odds that side will miss both? According to OptaJoe, West Ham had never seen an opponent miss two penalties in the same EPL match. I’m think a tenner on that would bring back some decent funds. In the 36th minute, Daniels sent a through ball into the box for Pugh. Fonte stuck his leg out to stop him, which is rarely a good idea in the box. Pugh went down, and Madley pointed to the spot a second time. As soon as Afobe started to stutter step towards the ball, I’m guessing Bournemouth supporters worried. His weak shot probably made them sick. Randolph’s save made us laugh.
The Hammers had another good chance in the 41st minute when a Carroll attempt bounced kindly to Feghouli in the box. His right-footed shot made Boruc dive the wrong way, but his left leg did enough to deflect the shot out for a corner.
Bournemouth finished off what was largely their half when a low pass from Pugh found Daniels on the left. Daniels then sent a good ball into the box for Afobe but his shot was blocked by Reid.
Halftime
Bournemouth 1
West Ham 1
Early in the second half, Bournemouth were awarded a free kick when Reid was called for a foul on Fraser thirty yards from goal. Fraser’s delivery floated into the box, Afobe flicked it to King, and six yards from goal he couldn’t have missed it. Madley talked to his assistant for a second to see if West Ham could get their third Get Out Jail Free Card of the match for an offside. King may have been offside on the first ball, but not on the second. And regardless of what we think of that rule, King was onside and the goal stood.
Bournemouth 2
West Ham 1
In the 53rd minute, Obiang lost the ball at midfield…words which have rarely if ever been spoke this campaign…and Bournemouth were on the break. Fraser collected Arter’s pass and went for goal, but his shot was deflected into the arms of Randolph.
The 57th minute saw the changes most of us thought would happen at halftime. Feghouli and Noble off, Snodgrass and Ayew on. But in what can only be described as a prototypical West Ham moment, Snodgrass went down in a heap seconds after coming on with an ankle injury. He tried to run it off, and eventually came back on. For how long would remain to be seen.
In the 68th, Bournemouth had a chance to possibly put the game out of reach for a West Ham side bereft of ideas when King and Afobe combined on a counter attack that ended with Afobe taking on three West Ham defenders in the box yet still managing to get a shot off that Randolph was able to grab. Minutes later Smith sent a short cross into the box that Afobe attacked but his header went over the bar.
In the 80th minute, West Ham won a corner when Lanzini fed Antonio on the edge of the Bournemouth penalty area. Antonio tried a shot with the outside of his right foot that might have been goal bound had Cook not blocked it out for a corner.
When Byram came on for Kouyate, I’m guessing the reaction on Twitter and elsewhere was something like “yeah, but why now”? I’ve long questioned what Byram has done to deserve being ignored by Bilic. Is he the perfect right back going forward? Maybe not. But leaving him in the West Ham Phantom Zone has forced Bilic to play Kouyate out of his preferred position in midfield, among other moves. In the 83rd minute, Obiang slipped a truly sublime ball behind the Bournemouth back line that Byram ran onto perfectly. The West Ham RIGHT BACK didn’t have to break stride as he rolled the ball back to an onrushing Ayew. The Twenty Million Pound Man had nothing but a open net to shoot at, and he slotted it home.
Bournemouth 2
West Ham 2
I was planning on what my words were going to be in my concluding paragraph. The gist was gong to be that we got a point we almost certainly didn’t deserve. Bournemouth helped me in the 89th minute when they dispossessed an unforgivably sloppy Ayew in midfield and broke forward with numbers. Wilshire got off a good shot that Randolph was able to stop, but the rebound came out to King who was able to complete his hat trick and secure, deservedly, all three points for the home side.
Final Score
Bournemouth 3
West Ham 2
We have lost games this season by more goals and with far more abject performances than today. But today was a game that made me want to stop the season and start again next year. We were second best throughout, possibly fourth if you count the home and away supporters. The need for new players, better players, in any number of positions is transparently obvious. I could list those positions, as well as the obvious players who had poor games and should be concerned about their status, but that would be boring. I’d rather go cut up the pork shoulder I’m going to grill as Kebabs for dinner tonight.
I better go sharpen my knife. As should West Ham.