Guest Post by Rugby Irons
I’m not sure if its normal or indeed wise at my age to get so apprehensive about anything to do with seeing someone new after such a long and protracted separation that still pains me . But now is the time to move on . I have been faithful to my old love for over 45 years . Her beauty changed over the years as did the intimacy I shared with her. It was all cosy and close in the early days but as she improved with age and being a little bigger she was still always special, but it was more about respect than passion. Don’t get me wrong on a good night , normally in the rain under seductive lights she could put on a show no one could match and I doubt ever will . But with heavy heart she has gone , left me to cope on my own. But this Saturday I have to man up and try again. I am seeing a new temptress . She is a lot younger than me , all flash with the bling and all that. She’s a big one too . I always felt happier with small and tight, so going with a big one is going to be a whole new ball game. Although she came on to the scene in a blaze of glory after flirting with a few others , she has settled down but not without her problems. Now I have problems, but I don’t fight my own and in front of the kids. She reputedly an expensive date too. Not the old nuts thrown at me as before, no she’s a popcorn and lager lout. I don’t do Heineken and fizzy crap so hope I can try some of her secret Iron brew which I hear she keeps for special ones.
So I’ve already heard plenty about her and I’m sure some of you have probably dabbled with her already. Now I’m not going to judge her on whose had a go in her already , that would be preempting her and my mate Johnsey says I should judge her for myself and ignore her current track record.Track record , that’s a laugh in itself but another story!
So my plan is to go to Stratford on Saturday and have a couple of ‘dutch courages’ . Obviously I mean a couple of real ales . The old lady didn’t have any of this around her and so I was often with her cold stone sober which often made it harder to cope . It did make running for the Tube a lot easier though. Now I don’t know the Stratford boozers yet and I was hoping that I might find a couple where I might find others who have gone through the heartache of losing their loved one but have met up with the new girl just to see how they have coped and whether they can offer any advise. One of my concerns is, is she one of these new young types who wants to be up all the time or will she respect I need a sit down. I’m all for singing , dancing and celebrating in small doses ( or lots of small doses) but I have got really posh seats ( by the dugouts) and although I may get wet , unless she can offer me shelter under her ample frontages , it will be worth it just to be near King Leonidas ( 300) . I understand that there me someone else coming to see her for a first time too. All the way from the land of Vaux and Nissan but he’s a real loser and so with my posh (padded) seats and being near the King I’m hoping that sways it.
I’m really nervous of my first date. If it goes well there’s no telling when I may get to see her again , if it goes badly then it will make my previous loss hurt all the more. Any success with the new bird will make me want more , but if she favours the Northern Monkey i’ll be gutted. I’m told a few of you (250,000) have seen the new girl and so if any of you boys and girls can offer any advise as to how me ( and any other new suitors) can get the best out of her and not get into any trouble , I would be very grateful.
And finally if it all goes well and we keep seeing each other and it gets serious I will invite you all to our honeymoon in Europe , hopefully soon ! Wish me luck.