West Ham Till I Die
Comments
My Upton Park Memories

Uncle Bill & My Upton Park Memories

Guest Post by Johnsey

To help me with the dates and times for this piece I had to visit the one place in the house that I promised the Missus I would sort out years ago……the loft.

After completing the assault course of old computer screens, boxes of never used Christmas decorations, my old Xylophone, a guitar that I will definitely learn to play one day, photos of people I swear I’ve never met and ancient computer consoles I was momentarily sidetracked by my Scalextric set, I wasted a couple of hours rearranging all the furniture in my living room to enable me to lay out the “figure 8” only to realise that the reason the thing was up in the loft in the first place was that it doesn’t bloody work!,
So with the chorus of “I told you” still ringing in my ears from the Missus I was back up in the time warp of my attic heading for the two suitcases that house my West Ham programmes, alongside those cases is another one…..” the magic suitcase” that holds all my various West Ham tops from the decades, including the now faded Fred Flintstone in claret & blue with the slogan “these colours don’t run”, that shirt has visited just about every ground in the country.

It is definitely a magic case because every article of clothing that goes in there miraculously shrinks by at least one size and in some cases by several sizes. Its a mystery.

I found it, the programme from my very first visit to the Boleyn Ground, it was August 31st 1968 v WBA, I was a month past my 7th birthday.

My guardian and protector that day was my Uncle Bill, a giant of a man, a Docker with a square jaw and shoulders to match, his hands were like shovels and he had a smile that was as wide as a mile, I loved that man.

I have absolutely no recollection of the match whatsoever. Apparently I later complained to my Mum that I couldn’t see anything except the backs of loads of men. It was to be a few short months later that my undying love affair with the old place took hold. Stoke City at home on the 8th April 1969, a Tuesday night, my first ever floodlight game. I was now fully equipped with my freshly painted tea crate that Uncle Bill had fashioned, I could now see everything, and what a sight – the brightness of the pitch, the steam rising from all the players, the mysterious four shadows each of them had, and the atmosphere. Oh man, that atmosphere……I was hooked.

For the next 9 years together we would make our fortnightly trip to Upton Park before the lure of the South Bank took hold and I started going with my mates. One of the first matches I attended without Uncle Bill was the now famous Eintracht Frankfurt game in 1976. We talked endlessly about that game for years and never agreed who had the best view – he in the North Bank and me soaking wet in the South Bank.

My overriding memories of the ground, apart from the matches, range from walking in to the sounds of “I Was Kaiser Bill’s Batman” by Whistling Jack Smith, to the cups of Bovril that burnt your lips and made your nose run, the futile attempts of Bill Remfry trying to pronounce the names of the players from the Politechnica Timosoura side and the fact that thousands of people who knew nothing about one another would all turn up in one concrete bowl in the heart of East London for one big family knees up and invariably trudge home disappointed.

Sadly Uncle Bill passed away last year. They played “Bubbles” at his funeral and I cried like I’ve never cried before or since.

A quick count of my programmes reveals that I have attended almost 900 matches at the Boleyn. That equates to nearly 2000 hours! Will I miss the place? You bet I will.

The three constants to me throughout my West Ham life have been my Uncle Bill, the Boleyn Ground and the fact that West Ham will always find a way to drag a defeat from the jaws of victory.

One of those has gone, one is about to and one never will.

Its a strange coincidence that I started taking my Nephew to games last season and he now has his grubby hands on my season ticket. Will he be able to create the same connection and memories in the new stadium? I doubt it. Football has changed since those early years with Uncle Bill, so has the support and not for the better in my opinion but that is a whole other story.

If you’d like to write about your Upton Park Memories for publication just send them through the Contact box at the top of the page

About us

West Ham Till I Die is a website and blog designed for supporters of West Ham United to discuss the club, its fortunes and prospects. It is operated and hosted by West Ham season ticket holder, LBC radio presenter and political commentator Iain Dale.

More info

Follow us

Contact us

Iain Dale, WHTID, PO Box 663, Tunbridge Wells, TN9 9RZ

Visit iaindale.com, Iain Dale’s personal website & blog.

Get in touch

Copyright © 2024 Iain Dale Limited.