Guest Post by Neil Clack
Everybody’s talking about
Bagism, Nolanism, Carrollism, same-agentism,
this-ism, that-ism, Ism ism ism
All we are saying is Give Sam A Chance
Hoofism, Ravelism, chewing-gumism, midfield-diamondism, ism, ism..’
All we are saying is GIVE SAM A CHANCE
Anger, disappointment, and resigned shrugs were the emotions that greeted the news of Sam Allardyce’s appointment in the Essex pubs I frequent, back in the summer of 2011 (though, to be fair, I did spot, amongst all the angst, a handful of more positive comments on WHTID and other fan forums).
Allardyce’s big problem, of course, was that, rightly or wrongly, he has always been ‘perceived’ as everything West Ham are not. Apart from being a scruffy Northerner (ie. North of Watford), the man from Dudley is a disciple of Charles ‘long-ball’ Hughes, the 1980s FA technical director whose teachings clashed with Ron Greenwood’s, eventually driving the former West Ham and England manager away from the game forever, a disillusioned man.
Indeed in John Lyall’s last ever interview, shortly before he died, for the (West Ham) Managers book, it was Allardyce whom he turned on when expressing his dislike of some aspects of the English game, “Who’s on the end of that earpiece, what can’t he see for himself”, complained the normally placid Lyall, who believed managing was all about using your eyes, and giving players freedom to express themselves, and not some exercise in statistics and percentages.
Not being the most handsome of men doesn’t help Allardyce’s cause either at West Ham, where the all-time heroes, Bonds, Brooking and Moore, have always been dapper eloquent gentlemen, who, as a matter of principle, would refuse to whinge in public, or, heaven forbid, swear.
When referee Keith Hackett sent off Tony Gale in the 22nd minute of the 1991 FA Cup semi-final, an outrageous decision, and one of the biggest injusticies in FA Cup history, manager Billy Bonds, when questioned about it in the immediate post-match interview, just politefully and respectfully said, “I don’t want to talk about that”, before waxing lyrical about how marvelous West Ham fans are.
Compare that to Sam at Old Trafford a couple of weeks ago, where the whole world and his wife could see that Nolan was offside, albeit only slightly, and yet he still goes on TV, representing West Ham United, accusing the linesman of “dropping a bollock”. Charming.
In the same match, whenever the camera zoomed in on Allardcye, he was chewing gum with his mouth wide open, looking like a slobbering sea-lion, devouring a piece of fish. He even has the audacity to appear on TV with the knot of his tie halfway down his shirt, and his top-button undone. Bobby Moore must be turning in his grave.
“Take that, you big fat moaning Northern walrus”, was one of the comments I distinctly remember reading in the OLAS fanzine when West Ham beat Bolton in the 2006 FA Cup run.
But, in a way, none of this is Sam Allardcye’s fault. For the fact that he and West Ham are such an ill-fit, the finger should be pointed at the people who appointed him in the first place. Because Leopards don’t change their spots. Or do they?
Here are some of the biggest complaints I heard from West Ham supporting friends last season, most of whom are season-ticket holders and some of whom seem to align the name Allardcye alongside Pol Pot, and Joseph Stalin:- “it’s long ball football” (Ok, so in other words, Allardyce is doing exactly what it says on the tin, acting totally in character, and being Sam Allardyce).
- "he buys all his players from the same agent, Mark Curtis, and puts them on big salaries (In other words, Allardyce is doing exactly what it says on the tin, acting totally in character, and being Sam Allardyce).
- “he constantly criticises referees and blames everyone but himself” (In other words, Allardyce is doing exactly what it says on the tin, acting totally in character, and being Sam Allardyce).
- “he swears too much” (my mum doesn’t like that one) – apparently one of those emails sent round last season contained some expletives?My point is this – you can’t knock a man for being himself. You can’t blame Sam Allardyce for getting appointed West Ham manager, and then rocking up at Upton Park, and acting like Sam Allardyce!
Poor Sam wasn’t helped by events last summer. Clearly his job was on the line, but it seems a combination of the board not wanting to pay up the remaining year of his contract, and the lack of available suitable successors allowed Sam a stay of execution, much to the disappointment of many – I would say, the majority – of West Ham fans. (Personally, I reckon the reports that Sullivan wanted to sack Sam, but Gold and Brady persuaded him against it, aren’t too far removed from the truth).
But, anyway, as a result of a those week-long shenanigans back in May, Sam now finds himself in a bit of a lose-lose situation. If the team does well this season and plays good football, then it’s because the owners, influened by the fans, forced it upon him, and also, of course, because of the new signings, who were all signed by the board.
Personally, I think that’s very unfair. I can’t believe a manager with so much experience knows only how to play one way? With the team looking so impressive in recent games, maybe the manager’s coaching has also played a part? Maybe it’s time to cut Sam some slack?
One of my favourite moments of the season so far – and there have been many already, more than last season already – was when Carlton scored at Crystal Palace and the crowd started chanting his name. Yes, there was a touch of pathos about it, gallows humour if you like, but it was sung with genuine love and affection.
Maybe we could turn Sam into a cult figure too. The first club to really embrace him as a manager. Who knows, he might reciprocate the love? Unfortunately, ‘Sam Allardyce’s Claret and Blue Army’ doesn’t scan, but (unfortuantely for Sam), ‘Big Fat Sam’s Claret and Bue Army’ fits perfectly, and if he’s got a sense of humour, he’d appreciate it, surely? How about some chants of ‘Sam In, Sam In’? With a ‘Fat Sam In’ banner to accompany it if we continue to play as we did against Hull and Liverpool.
But love is a two way thing, and the least Sam could do is try and meet the fans halfway. He seemed to be on a mission to deliberately rile the fans when he first tookover, riding rough shod over our history, with disparaging remarks about the West Ham way etc.
Maybe Allardyce could take a leaf out of Alan Pardew’s book, a manager who became very poular at West Ham, despite, one good season aside, the football being pretty dire most of the time. Pardew’s trick was to constantly praise the fans, taking time out to read up on the club’s history, name-dropping Bobby Moore, Di Canio and the greats at every opportunity, making it seem like he felt priveliged to be part of the club. Small things, but they can go a long way. At the height of his popularity, the club even produced a Pocket Pardew character for your desktop computer.
A mate told me after the infamous Hull match last season that “there’s no way back for him after that”. Not only did he cup his hands at the crowd, he was still going on about it in his column in the Standard a few days later. What I never understood is that Allardyce and Nolan, who also had a dig at the fans that night, had been in the game long enough to know their comments were headliners’ dreams.
He also made the Lampard error in that some of the fans were booing, but by no means all of them. Hopefully he has learnt from that, but, if he hasn’t that will be his downfall, regardless of what happens on the pitch. Engaging with the fans is a massive part of the remit of a West Ham manager, and you need a certain personality to be a West Ham manager. Sadly, from day one, there was a bristling, uneasy tension between Sam and the fans. Perhaps he thought he could walk into this job, get results and the fans would all be bowing down to him, but he underestimated our complex crowd. He has to show more humility.
So a few tips, Sam:
- Have some respect for the club’s history, -Don’t whinge about referees and make excuses all the time.
-Cut out all the mumbo-jumbo about Penalty Box Entries (PBEs) – fans don’t want to hear this, and don’t try and tell the fans the team created loads of chances when they can see with their own eyes they didn’t.
- Don’t go on TV/Radio shows singing the praises of Charles Hughes,
- And, as my mum always used to tell me when I was about 9 years old, if you must chew gum all the time, try and keep your mouth shut while you do it.
Simple little things that would really help your relationship with Essex/East London folk.
If he ever became popular enough, we could have a lot fun with a pocket Fat Sam. Actually, the last time I visited the Romford store, I laughed out loud, when I saw those gnome-like figures of David Sullivan and David Gold on sale. They’re so bizarre I’ve put them on on my xmas list. But how about one of Sam? With a fat stomach that, whenever you press it, he says, “I love the West Ham way, I love Bobby Moore, football on the floor, football on the floor”.
So, grow your hair and beards, get those ‘Sam In’ placards made up. All you need is Love.
Let me tell you now,
Everybody’s talking about John and Sakho,
Karen Brady, David Gold, Enner Valencia,
David Moyes, Kevin Nolan, Mark Noble,
Tommy Cooper, Norman Mailer, Hare Krishna, Hare Hare Krishna
All we are saying is give Sam a chance
All we are saying is give Sam a chance.