In 1996, Robert Banks wrote An Irrational Hatred Of Luton. If memory serves me correctly, our fearless leader promoted the book here on this site. I haven’t read it. In fact, since our daughter was born in 2001 I don’t think I’ve read any book. I’ve become so IPad and E-Media centric I’d probably stop reading any book after 140 characters and look for the reply button.
The book chronicles Banks’ life as a West Ham supporter and how his relationship with the club weaved itself into his life. Including, presumably, his hatred of Luton. Well, I have an irrational hatred of QPR. I didn’t use to. I didn’t pay any attention to them, to be fair. But in the past few years that has all changed. Other than the teams around us in the table, the result I look for is QPR. Did it the year they were in the Championship, too. When Zamora scored the second most important goal of his career you’d have thought I was a Derby supporter the way I was rolling around on the floor cursing.
I guess it’s a combination of many small things. Like their owner being a longtime West Ham supporter. And his apparently insulting attempts to invest in or buy out Gold and Sullivan before turning to his Plan B. The writer of another blog site used to write as many QPR articles as he did West Ham articles in what looked like an attempt to wind up the R’s. It worked, based on the number of QPR supporters who insulted him in the comments section. Many of my Twitter mates seem to feel the same way, voicing unfettered joy at every bad move QPR make.
Point is, today was a very big game in my book. I wanted to beat these guys. And if our feelings of optimism over our performances, if not our current point tally, were rooted in reality we needed three points today. News that Kevin Nolan might step right back into the starting lineup made the announcement of those eleven an event yet again. And while Nolan starting would have been a unique combination of the absurd and the predictable, the actual starting eleven as well as the subs was equally surprising. Mauro Zarate was given the nod for a start, and Elliot Lee was named to the bench. Did Sam see something from Zarate in training? Or was he making sure not to alienate him by nailing him to the bench like the dead parrot in Monty Python. “This…is an ex…Midfielder!”
It all raised questions, but not the kind of questions we are used to. It was more in the realm of some kind of alternative universe. My Twitter mate @BKhammer1 noted that we were starting off relatively imbalanced with possibly too much emphasis on the attack, while QPR were doing the same by starting three central midfielders. Another account simply wondered if it we were starting out in too much of an attacking setup. Next thing you know Republicans over here will be inviting Obama over to their homes to watch the NFL over a few brewskies.
At least it’s not boring from the start.
From the standpoint of writing, the game started off in the 4th minute. Sakho got West Ham a corner from a Jenkinson throw in. Downing’s corner flew over pretty much everyone in the box. But it landed on the shin of Nedum Onuoha and rolled into the back of the net. Sakho looked way too calm for someone who had just scored, and Rob Green looked so flabbergasted I hesitated in celebrating.
Wait for it….
1-0 West Ham.
Replays showed the ball may have glanced Valencia’s hand. He may have been pushed. And as my other non paying boss Graeme Howlett of KUMB pointed out on his Twitter feed, the ball didn’t change direction at all so the referee made the right call by letting the goal stand. At least I think so. I suspect Mr. Airplane Race Car guy saw it differently. Sorry, Tony. You’re in for a rough day.
Morgan Amalfitano showed the kind of ball control in the 8th minute on a pass from Song that supporters of teams with skillful players have taken for granted for ages. For us, it’s still kind of the new toy. He put a cross in that Green intercepted, and held onto, before it could land on Valencia. A few minutes later Downing found Sakho, who then passed to Valencia but it was just a bit behind our new favorite Ecuadorian and he couldn’t turn on it enough to get his shot on target.
Alex Song is usually so composed and so controlled with the ball at his feet that when he made the first of quite a few mistakes today I wondered what was going on. He gave up a corner with nobody in the same postal zone as him. Later he gave up the ball along the sideline and was only saved when Amalfitano sacrificed a possible boot in the face by going low to head the ball out of danger. I thought he never does that? Maybe he thought you have to make dramatic mistakes at West Ham to fit in?
In the 22nd minute Zarate did, at least in my opinion, what a number ten is supposed to do. He dribbled the ball close to the top of the area, passed it to Valencia cutting down the left, and then immediately ran into space to offer himself as a target. Uhhh, Kevin. Maybe you didn’t get the memo. That’s what you should do. It didn’t lead to anything, but it caught my attention because I actually have a semi decent understanding of this game and if I’m aware of this I’m glad a guy in our shirt is aware of it as well.
Yet two minutes later I might have screamed at the TV for Zarate to go drink some Malbec and get off the pitch when he lost the ball and allowed QPR to break into a counter. Charlie Austin, possibly the only QPR player other than our former players that I wish well of, nutmegged Tomkins and took a shot right at Adrian. That should have cost us. That should have been the equalizer. And in the past, it most certainly would have. But not today. Could the football gods be changing their overall attitude towards us? Maybe they think we’ve suffered enough?
Around the 30th minute I felt like I used to in school when the subject matter just wasn’t grabbing hold of me. I had to be there, pretty much, but my mind was elsewhere. How’s the pot of chili doing? Does it need more cayenne? The game had no feel to it. Like a pre-season friendly. Cresswell made runs, but didn’t get the ball. Long passes were being attempted in a way that looked more “why the hell not” than a real plan. Zarate seemed like he sensed that and tried to wake everybody up with a good run that beat a few flat footed QPR lackeys, but his cross was deflected out for a corner. The corner was taken short, again to the feet of Zarate, and again nothing was there at the finish. At least he tried.
When Niko Kranjcar scored on that free kick a few weeks ago to salvage a point against Stoke, I was mightily impressed. Which is why every time he got the ball I silently hoped for a pulled hamstring or something. He has the ability to do stuff on his own, which he came close to doing in the 37th minute when he floated a ball to Charlie Austin streaking in that caused me to stand up in anxiety. Thankfully when I sat back down it was still 1-0.
Stuart Downing’s brilliant renaissance as a midfield general was in perfect view for all to see in the 39th minute when he picked Cresswell in full stride down the right hand side. Caulker got in front of our left backs cross, but if those kind of passes continue to come off Downing’s feet all of the worry over spending the last few coins in our piggy bank last year on him will be put to rest.
West Ham had one last surge forward near the end of the first half when Valencia went after a Zarate cross. Traore cleared, and Valencia landed awkwardly and seemed to twist his knee. He looked to be limping when the whistle blew. Turned out he was fine. Thank goodness for small favors.
Halftime. Nah, no more cayenne. Just lower the flame and let the beefy goodness get to know the black and pinto beans and dinner will be well and truly ready.
The second I saw Bobby Zamora start the second half for QPR in place of Junior Hoilett I got worried. And don’t lie, so did all of you. If you had a choice of betting on “he will score” or “he won’t score” I know which way you’d go. Two minutes in that imaginary bet almost paid off when Mr. Playoff passed to Austin cutting inside the box but Cresswell did just enough to deflect Austin’s shot wide. Then Tomkins got booked for yanking Zamora from behind when the ball got past him. You could smell a goal coming. QPR owned the first ten plus minutes of the second half, and this is precisely the point we have always let a game slip through our grasp.
A goal did come. In the 59th minute. For us. A free kick by Cresswell from left of the center circle led to a shot on goal by Zarate that was deflected to Tomkins. His looping shot…or pass….or whatever the hell it was went over Green and onto Sakho who guided it in. Harry paid one million quid for Paolo, right? Sakho might turn out to be the second biggest bargain in my West Ham life. He smells the goal the way a shark smells blood.
Then came one of the oddest things I have seen in a long time. The camera wasn’t on Green when he made a mess of his goal kick and handed it right to Valencia, who promptly put it in the net. Green didn’t move, and the referee immediately pointed back at the spot for another goal kick. The linesman had his flag up, but none of the announcers knew why. I sure as hell didn’t. @whufc_official said it was because Valencia wasn’t ten yards away from the ball when it was kicked. @WeLoveYouWHU posted later that “the ball is in play when it is kicked directly out of the penalty area”. While I’m still not 100% sure why the goal was disallowed, what I am sure is that as much I loved Green when he was between our posts, I’m glad he isn’t anymore. To even be in that position shows why Sam didn’t act too upset to let him go, and why Hughes got Cesar about ten minutes into that season.
The 66th minute saw Adel Taarabt come on for Sandro. The Moroccan international is like QPR’s own version of Ravel Morrison, without the police activity. Can be brilliant one moment, and a petulant little jerk the next. But he can play. And he can score. So more than a few West Ham supporters took a few deep breaths and glanced at the clock. He made a few runs, tried a few things, but QPR isn’t Milan and he was pretty much on his own.
I’m still confident that Enner Valencia will be an important player for us for a long, long time. Today, however, he wasn’t at his best. The one moment that summed that up for me was in the 67th when Reid got the ball to Downing after a nice tackle. Downing passed to Valencia who cut across the top of the box, turned toward the defender….and shot about half a mile wide when Sakho and Zarate were waiting for a pass. Selfish. But despite that, he never stopped running, and working, and trying. Such a simple word, “trying”, and one we take for granted. But when it’s evident, it’s nice to see.
Song gave QPR a bit of hope in the 69th minute when his attempt to get the ball off Niko Kranjcar was ruled a foul. A bit harsh, and it would have been significantly harsher had the Croatian bent it like an underwear model. His free kick was deflected out for a corner, and QPR enjoyed a little spell of pressure.
In the 76th minute, Kevin Nolan came on for Zarate. I tried to look on the bright side. It wasn’t the first minute. Still, I wasn’t happy and I didn’t understand it. Zarate had a very fine game, completed 85% of his passes as it turned out, and even tracked back on defense on more than a few occasions. Any doubts he wouldn’t be able to adapt to the physical play in the Premier League should probably be flushed. As Nolan ran onto the pitch, he said something to Cresswell, I think. My best mate Jon assumes he said “remember the way it used to be, with balls flying in the box and me hoping to get a garbage goal? We’re going back to that”. And he got his chance in the 86th minute to show he could be an impact sub. Matt Jarvis, who came on for Valencia in the 84th minute (nice to see him back, actually) passed to Downing who threaded a perfect pass to Nolan in the box, but the not really captain anymore shot it right at Green. Kev, if you can’t score there, against a team that has pretty much given up on the day, then I hope Mark Curtis knows some people at Sky or BT.
I spent the final few minutes on the phone, blissfully watching the game get killed off by our Happy Hammers. Final score, 2-0. Was it an amazing performance? No. Not by a country mile. A few players stood out in my opinion. Zarate, as I said earlier. Tomkins had his best game of the year so far, no small feat considering the week he had. Cresswell was outstanding, again. And Demel should only start when Jenkinson can’t. The clean sheet just added the whipped cream to this Sunday.
I’ll try not to use such stupid puns again, but the hole was as gaping as QPR’s back line and I couldn’t resist.
Today was something those of us that depend on West Ham for any feeling of joy the rest of a weekend aren’t used to. We played a game we should win, against a team that should pose very few problems for us. And that’s exactly what happened. In many ways, it’s as satisfying as the win against Liverpool. That game was like a glass of my favorite Champagne, Billecart Salmon. But today was like a glass of crystal clear water.
You can live without Champagne. You can’t live without water.