Note from Iain: One of the things missing from this site are regular post match reports. Yes, I do some if I’ve been to a match, but I don’t go to many away games and with spending most weekends at our house in Norfolk, I don’t get to every home match either. So we’ve asked David Hautzig to take on the task. Now the thing is, he doesn’t go to ANY games. But fear not, dear reader, there is method in our madness. Read on…
By David Hautzig
It was a pretty boring Monday. The kids haven’t started school yet, none of my customers as a wine salesman were at all interested in seeing me, and I had mowed the lawn over the weekend. Then, while watching a bit of the City win over Liverpool, my IPhone buzzed with an email from Sean Whetsone asking me to join WHTID as a post match recap writer. Now Sean had admittedly done his last podcast drunk. Boiled. Wrecked. So I wondered if the alcohol was talking, not him or Iain. Sean assured me he was sober, and this was indeed a real request.
I spoke to Iain later that night about what he wanted and what I was capable of doing in between hawking wines and being a family man. That chat went well, so here I is. First up, his Royal Hamness asked me to write up a little bio as an introduction. I did that a few years ago for another site, and nothing in my past has changed since then. And who better to plagiarize than myself?
This started in 1991. My friend was playing in the Edinburgh Jazz Festival. Being single and a bit bored, I decided to cash in a bunch of air miles and join him. So did a neighbour in my Manhattan apartment building, who was equally bored with her life at the time. On her flight, she sat next to a guy named Del. They eventually got married, had two kids, moved to the USA…..and got divorced. Not relevant but I want to be factually accurate.
He, along with his brother and father were season ticket holders to this team called West Ham United. My father is from Austria, and had told me from day one that real football was the greatest game man had ever created. I had a season ticket along with a friend to the New York Cosmos, so I didn’t need that much convincing. I didn’t support a team in England, so I was ripe for the taking. Next thing you know I’m at my favorite pub in Manhattan at 7am watching Freddie Kanouté score in a 1-0 FA Cup win over Sunderland.
When asked what it’s like to support West Ham, I often joke that it’s a virus. There is no cure, no treatment, and eventually it will lead to your demise. I’m hooked. Done. Crispy fried. And I am not complaining about the affliction. I had a season ticket to the New York Rangers of the National Hockey League for 24 years. I saw them win the coveted Stanley Cup in 1994 for the first time in 54 years. It was electric in Madison Square Garden the night they won. Loudest I have ever heard at a sporting event. I also had a season ticket to the New York Mets baseball team for seven years. Lots of exciting and fun times at the late and not so great Shea Stadium. But nothing, and I mean nothing, compares to my support for our rip roarin’, goal scorin’ Hammers.
In Fever Pitch, I remember Nick Hornby explaining his attachment to Arsenal by saying that next to his parents, the Gunners were his longest lasting relationship. I don’t have as many years under my belt as most of you, but the relationship thing strikes a cord. No matter how much someone cheers for, or claims to “love” their favorite NFL or NBA team, for some reason it’s not a relationship. You’re a customer, and they have a product. Yet despite playing in the richest sports league in the world, supporters of EPL teams and other football teams worldwide have a connection to their club that is deeper. More gratifying. And definitely more painful. Relegation or the threat of it assures us of that.
I’m going to accept that some of you will think “no bloody way this American geezer understands my club”. Fair enough. I didn’t grow up in East London. I didn’t go to Upton Park with my dad or grandfather. Never even heard of you guys until that guy named Del asked to come into my apartment to watch the weekly Premier League highlight show on cable TV, which my neighbour did not have. But I did take my then fiancé to a game the day after I proposed in Hyde Park. I also dragged her to two games on our honeymoon in 1998. So if I can feel so strongly about West Ham coming from The Big Apple, I can only imagine how all of you feel.
I will do my best to bring my particular vantage point, however quirky at times, to all of you.
Iain continues… So please give a warm welcome to David, who will report on all our games from the comfort of a New York based bar. I’ve asked him not to write as if he was writing for the BBC website or one of the papers – what would be the point in that? – but to give his reports as quirky and opinionated a feel as he likes. I’m looking forward to Saturday even more now!
You can follow David on Twitter at @DHautzig
Don’t forget to take the WHTID 2014 Reader Survey HERE if you haven’t done so already.